of new changes

There are some changes in regards to my work. I wanted to tender because time spent with Babylove is just so limited. For that few weeks of working, I feel as though I lost touch what is happening in his life. I only get to bathe him on the weekends. Simple things like the number of times I change his diapers or clean him after his berak session can be counted with my hands. So sedih. Like, I’m his mom but I’m not doing much. Looking at how tired my mom is at the end of the day just add to my guilt. She have lots to do. So unfair for her to take care of Babylove while I go to work. I know she is sincere but I just feel so bad. For her. For Yusuf.

After weeks of dreadful guilt, I decided to just tender with an intention of doing some side-line to gain income. It was all well-planned out and I was ready to jump. My managers then rejected my resignation and offered to allow me to work from home. I was elated lah! Alhamdulilah. I love my current job. Wait, I don’t really love it. I just have no issue with it. No bitchy colleagues, no stupid politics or heavy workload. Equal balance of paperwork and site inspection. I’m happy with my pay.  Kind of a dream job if you were to compare to my previous experiences.

So, to be able to keep the job and spend time with my son is just so unbelievably great news. Alhamdulilah. Now, I go to work 3 times a week. Which is great for me. I sincerely believe that more companies should give their employees some flexibilities or a choice to work from home. That 2 days of taking care of Babylove plays a huge difference.

I’m trying to have a routine now. Our routine mcm went haywire ever since I started working. Semuer kelam-kabut. Bender all over. Need to get hold of my life. I drafted a time-table. Will try to follow it as much as I can, especially now that Babylove is more alert and I have started doing flashcards with him. I’m also playing this CD Juz Amma which is very slow and repetitive. The CD is intentionally made for memorising purposes.

Anyway, I’m not really well-versed in ukhrawi knowledge. I guess that is the main reason why I’m starting early. Because I have lots to learn in order to teach Babylove.

Anyway, I intend to do some plastering work to my kitchen walls. If you have any contacts or recommendations, please pm me k. Really appreciate it because I have a hard time trying to get some contacts. And, I’m pressed for time. It is always like that. I have this intention of doing plastering ever since we have the house. But, it is listed somewhere in the ‘future’ list. Suddenly, mcm dh rimas and just want to do it now. Now! Patience is really not my best trait. So, help me if you have any contacts yer.

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