Yes, I gave birth nearly 1.5 mth ago. I typed the delivery story a few days after giving birth tapi tak sempat nak post it up.
So, this is the delivery story of Mohamed Yusuf Syazwan Bin Mohamed Khalil.
16th Jan, Friday night
As per normal nights, we went to my parents’ place after maghrib to have dinner with the rest of my family members. We then proceeded to my PIL’s place to just spend time with them. Reached home nearly midnight and like any other nights, I can’t sleep. I used my hp and then did some exercise. I will do exercise at night cos I got bored and restless. Walked around the bed and did 30 squats. Usually, I will only do 10 squats. Malam tu mcm extra rajin. Did some stretching and went all fours to do pelvic thrusts.
17th Jan, Saturday 5am (39 weeks + 1 day)
Felt heavy discharge. Went to toilet to discover I had bloody show. My pantyliner was soaked with red blood. I was not sure muscus plug and bloody show is the same thing tak. Tapi, still excited! Bcos I have been waiting for some early labour signs. The only signs I have been having is frequent bowel movement for a week. Woke Khalil up to tell him. I asked him whether he wanted to see the bloody show tak. He took a look and I then went to toilet to change. Weee! Excited! Dah ader bloody show! I estimated maybe on Monday will give birth since I read labour will take place a few days after bloody show.
I started to have some menses-like cramps. I know they are contractions so I started to time them. First few contractions are 10 minutes apart and quite regular. I then thought hmmm, maybe by afternoon kene gi hospital. Continued monitoring the cramps. They got closer around 6-7 minutes apart which lasted for a minute or so. The cramps were uncomfortable, exactly like how you are having menses cramps. Uncomfortable tapi manageable ah. Just lie down in bed and closed my eyes.
I downloaded the contraction apps pasal I think the contractions mcm too regular and too near to each other. Why so near but the pain is manageable? Ni dah 6 minutes apart. 5 minutes apart, we should be making our way to hospital. But, the pain is still okay.
I do not want to rush to hospital because I prefer to go through most part of the pain in the comfort of my home. I woke Khalil up again and told him maybe we go hospital at 9am. I wanted to have a long shower, eat heavy breakfast, solat hajat and clip my nails first.
He said okay and proceeded to the kitchen to make me some breakfast.
I was still lying on the bed. Suddenly, one painful contraction came. Like, woahhh! What was that? Why suddenly sakit sangat? I started to bend over the bed to sway my hips, groaning. Another one came! I crawled up to the bed and lie down. I know I should not lie down when having contractions but I just felt so tired. This one was a real killer! I was in so much pain! I screamed for Khalil. He rushed in and was so shocked. Asal?!
I told him I NEED to go hospital NOW! He was like okay! Lets siap2. Suddenly, I felt like I need to shit. I quickly went to the toilet and berak. After that, another strong contraction came. By now, I was panicking because I felt the urge to push. So, I pushed. Ni cannot help it. Your body will auto push. I was scared ah because I felt so heavy at my birth canal. I can feel the head literally resting at the opening. I went to lie down on the bed. Khalil told me not to push. Don’t push!
I was begging Khalil ‘I can’t do this! I can’t do this! I can’t do this! I can’t! I just can’t, Yang!” I was sobbing and pleading while grabbing his hands because it hit me how painful contractions are. Another contraction came and I pushed and gush of water literally sprayed out! I was like “Is that my water bag bursting?!”
Khalil checked and he said “ya, that’s your water bag”. The water is not really clear. Mcm ader lendeh2 and mucus.
I was in real desperate mode now. I suspect I’m only in the beginning of labour. I have hours to go. Camner nak tahan tak pakai epidural?
I was holding his hands and just curled up near his lap. He told me I can do it. All your friends able to do it. You can do it too.
By the time the contraction went away, I was panting and was so tired. I told him I was scared to stand up and get ready. I knew the contractions will bring me to my knees. Confirm takleh berdiri. I was panicking pasal camner nak gi hospital kla tkleh bangun. And, I don’t want him to let go of my hands when I was having contractions. His presence was my only source of comfort. I was that scared! I don’t think I can go through a contraction when he is driving and not holding my hands. Imagine how panicked I was. The ever calm him told me that we must get ready in between contractions and cepat2 gi hospital. I was like okay.
Quickyly went toilet to shower. Sempat shampoo, berus gigi and pakai sabun semuer. Lepas abis, a contraction hit me. Wahhh! Sakit giler! I was in the toilet, I auto went down on my knees and just kneel forward like tgh sujud. I screamed as the pain engulfed my whole body. My face was literally few cm from the toilet floor and I was clutching the selipar toilet. Seriously, part tu dah tak kesah bersih ker kotor or kesah whether I scare the neighbours with my scream pagi2 buta.
Khalil was preparing my clothes. He quickly closed our bedroom window. He saw me on the toilet floor and I saw his expression. Real cuak! He told me he wanted to have a quick shower. I was like maner sempat! He said sempat. I was like sembarang ah. I was in so much pain to argue. Khalil prepared my jubah to wear. Sakit2 pon, masih cerewet. I decided to pakai long sleeved shirt and pants instead since it is more comfy. (Later in the hospital, I was pleased to know that my green tudung matched the hospital gown. Note: bring matching tudung to your hospital top).
By the time I put on my clothes, Khalil dah mandi and siap pon. I grabbed my phone and bag and told him to get me a cup of air zamzam. I drank and selawat. I poured some on my stomach and doa semoga semuer berjalan lancar.
After drinking the air Zamzam, another contraction came. I was at the front door. Depan2 pintu, I went down on my knees and groaned. I tried not to scream tapi I think I let out some animal sound.
At this point, I just feel like crying. Mcm nak baring and just cry and beg Allah to take away the pain. Tapi, my brain told me to quickly make my way to the hospital. Sampai void deck, another contraction came. I need to grab on something. I quickly went to the kerusi batu bulat and hug the kerusi. I was on my knees and hugging the kerusi and just screamed my heart out. Like, I dnt care who dengar and whether I was on my knees. I heard a neighbor asked Khalil whether I was okay. Khalil said, ya, we are going hospital.
Dah abis contraction, I quickly went in the car. By now, I knew the pattern. I have a minute or 2 before another contraction came. I braced myself in the car. I grabbed the handle atas the pintu and clung onto it everytime ader contraction. In the car, I started to calm down and selawat or istighfar throughout the contraction instead of screaming.I knew that the contraction is painful but I will be brought back to reality safely.
Wanna know how you feel biler tgh contraction? You feel as though you were sucked into a tunnel of pain and all you feel is pain. When you think you can’t take it anymore, the tunnel open up and release you.
The scary part is when you think the tunnel will suck you till you will eventually die of pain. Like how ppl always say mcm bertarung nyawa. That’s the scary part. Thinking you will die of pain. After a few rounds of contractions, you will get that you will not die (InshaAllah) and you feel calmer and more ready biler the contraction start. You will ride on the pain and came out okay.
Sampai NUH, I had one more contraction. Pintu dah bukak but I was clinging onto the car and biting my lips. No way am I going to scream in front of everyone. Went onto the wheelchair. Khalil was fussing about with my feet supports. I was like “Just go! Dnt care about the kaki!” I was desperate because I knew another contraction is coming soon and I dnt have anything to grab onto in the wheelchair and I dnt want to scream depan orang.
Masok lift, contraction came. I screamed my lungs out in the lift! Hahahahhaha. I was literally telling Khalil to run.
Sampai delivery suite, I was pushed for examination (At NUH, they have few beds at the back for examination. They will not push you straight into the delivery suite). They wanted to see how far along I was. After examination, they will determine whether you should masok delivery suite, go ward to wait for labour to progress further or to go home.
Sampai the bed, I was hit by another contraction. I grabbed the nurse’s hand desperately and squeezed throughout the contraction. She was telling me to relax, breathe and not tense up. I opened my eyes and just looked at her desperately while breathing through the contraction with her. Dah abis, she asked me to change clothes. Baring, another contraction came and I screamed. Nurses rushed in and a doctor did VE on me. Sakit ah. I literally pushed his hand out lepas he pronounced I was fully dilated and will give birth by 8.30am.
They pushed me into one of the delivery suite. They got ready and I removed my clothes and tudung. They put on a top for me.
I started to push. I was initially scared to push so hard pasal I was scared I would tear or burst open because seriously the pressure was very very strong. Mcm can push all my intestines and internal organ out kla I all out push. That was why I controlled my pushed. Which was very stupid because I was wasting time and energy. (Note to mummies-to-be: trust your body and push all out. Your intestines tk akan terkeluar or meletop. However, you might tear).
They then put me on drip (the solution to promote contractions) because my contractions are too short to sustain successful pushes.
One of the nurse who is old (You know those old-timer nurse who is so grouchy and bitchy) told everyone I’m not pushing hard enough. Damn irritating seh. I just snapped and told her to shut up. Yes, I said Shut Up to her.
One of the nurses was shocked when I said that. Irritating giler! Mcm lah sengaje nak take my own sweet time pushing when I was already in pain. She then went out of the room.
2 other nurses were very supportive and positive. After few minutes of pushing, 1 prof, 2 doctors and 1 student doctor came in. Truth be told, I was irritated because the room was initially quiet with just us and the 2 nurses. Then, they came in and were so noisy. Like, saper kater they can just barge in and suker2 look at me pushing?
But, adat hospital school. Mesti nak blajar per. The Prof introduced himself and told me I need to relax my legs and not tense up. Lepas tu tk irritated sgt pasal I need all the tips available. (We did not have any birth plan because I wanted to go in without any expectations. That was why the medical team came in to take a look).
He went out and the other 2 doctors (Male and Female) and student doctor (Female) stayed on.
8.45am, I was still pushing. I was taking too long to push and getting tired. One of the nurse told me let’s aim to give birth by 9am. Once and for all. The other nurse told me kla tk, I will have to do C-sec. Tu mcm scared tactic but it works ah. I was like, no way am I going C-sec after going through this far not taking up epidural and gas. And, I really wanted to breastfeed and recover asap. C-sec was my greatest fear.
That was like a wake-up call for me. Mcm dah semangat on this pushing mission. No more half-hearted effort. I focused on pushing and the female doctor suggested assisted delivery aka vacumn. I was okay. Aper2 ah asalkan the baby is out. So, as I was pushing, the male doctor pressed my stomach to help assist the baby out, the female doctor did episiotomy on me and used vacuum to pull the baby out and the 2 nurses and my husband cheered me on. It was painful when the doctor pressed on my stomach tapi I need all the help to push the baby out so tahan jer.
I was closing my eyes all along and just pusheeeddddddd.
I felt the baby slipped out. The feeling mcm scary. Like, one of internal organ terkeluar. I knew that it was the baby tapi I opened my eyes to re-confirmed. Maner tahu bender lain terkeluar.
TMI, while I was pushing, I didn’t realized I passed motion a little. My husband told me after the delivery. Even if I was aware then, I think I will be tak kesah langsung. Biler tgh sakit, dh tk kesah pasal malu.
They placed the baby on top of my stomach. I expected to feel emotional or overwhelmed with love. Tapi, I was not. I was very mission-like. Like, what’s next. I reminded the doctors that my husband wanted to cut his umbilical cord.
We took photos while my husband cut his umbilical cord. Amek gmbr mcm cut birthday cake.
They proceeded to stitched me up. They asked me whether I wanted the baby on top of me for skin to skin. I rejected because my legs were shaking, I was still having minor contractions and was still in pain. Shaking after delivery is normal because your body is still in shock.
They then placed the baby on the weighing machine and did all the necessary tests and jab. My husband was with the baby.
The student doctor tried to stich me up. The pain was excruciating! Like, I kept trying to close my legs pasal sakit giler. They did give me injection to numb the area but I was still in pain. The doctor asked whether I wanted gas. I rejected pasal I do not want to be drugged up. I want to be conscious and carry the baby asap.
The student doctor tried few times but it was too painful for me. The doctor then took over. Tak sakit sgt when he stitched me up. Sakit ah tapi tak sesakit when the student doctor did it.
You know kat atas ader this lampu like operating theater. There is mirror around the light. So, I can see what the doctor is doing. The tear is like 5-6cm long! I can see how he stitched me up (mcm jahit baju), I can feel the thread but it was borderline painful.
At the same time, I can still feel contractions and constant need to push since I was still on drip. The doctor was teaching the student doctor while he was stitching me up. Part ni mcm nak snap at him ah. Orang dh sakit abeh lagik nak take own sweet time and teach. But, I reminded myself to be patient. Asalkan baby dah keluar, it’s okay.
I then pushed the placenta out. Lepas dah pushed the placenta out, raser lega. Like, finally, I feel my stomach kosong. I told Khalil to take the photo of placenta and then take the baby to azankan. Told you, I was so mission-like. Maternal love haven’t set in yet.
I took video of the husband azan. After that, baru boleh relax. All done.
They took the baby to nursery. I told my husband to pass me comb. I started to comb my hair and try to look presentable. (Remember was rushing to siap2 gi hospital. Tak sempat sikat rambut. Just tied up my wet hair and pakai tudung).
He then went to park the car in the carpark.
The medical team left us to rest and to monitor my statistics.
I was pushed to the normal ward together with the baby. Alhamdulilah.
Will update on my time in hospital and after-birth recovery soon. In sha Allah.